I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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