Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just had sex on a roof
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
