Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
