420 ftw
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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