Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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