can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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