I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize