Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
