I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
