your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
