sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
