So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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