My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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