Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
