All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
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I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
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I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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