just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
