Only a mothe r could love this liver
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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