"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize