wakey wakey hands off snakey
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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