can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize