I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
