I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
