I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize