i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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