she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
