Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
