WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
