So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
