Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
