I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
