Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I think your dad took our porno
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
