i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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