so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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