I wanna passion pit in your ass
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
