im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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