before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Fuck appropriateness.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
