you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
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