My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I supernannyed him into submission
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
