I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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