i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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