I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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