I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
