this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
All I want is dick and wine.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
