best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
