I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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