Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
my liver is dry heaving
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
