If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
