A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
