its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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