Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
