I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
