I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
