I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
