Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
