I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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