My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize