He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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