he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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