your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
