youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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