She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize