too bad you live with your parents still
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
