i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
