I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
