Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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