just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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